My art practice is mine, and my lifestyle is the choice I make for it. For those of you who know, you know; you wake up every day making that choice. When you go somewhere, you are taking that choice with you. Those who don’t, expect that when you leave town; you are on vacation. Artists who are professionals are never on vacation, and we never regret it. We understand and accept this is a choice.

When my students are in my class and say that inevitable phrase, “I know this is a dumb question…” I always tell them that there is no “dumb” question, only unasked ones. Artists and scientists tend to explore areas that others don’t because we stop worrying about what others think and just go ahead and ask the why. If we can’t get answers that satisfy us, we hunt and gather information; everywhere.

I think that the statement about old dogs is misleading and limiting because as I have aged, the youthful passion isn’t as influential anymore. The heat of rage can come on still, I know because I recently felt it; but it no longer holds sway over my decision-making process. Frustration no longer backs me into a corner and clouds the possible exits. I can stop and think about solutions, figure out ways to problem solve.

An artist has to have faith in themselves and their ability to do something. Some call it arrogance, others refer to it as pride; to me it is trust. Trust in hard work and education from mentors, study and effort.

We can only push for so long before we need to step back for a little bit and recharge. Sure, if a person wants to they can go to college day after day until they have their degree but there is a reason we take a spring break or a summer break. Teachers need time off and so do you; so they shut down the campus.

Each of us ends up facing set backs or tragedy, and when we do, we tend to rate things by comparison. How bad is what I am facing compared to others? The thing is, what you can overcome; others might see as simple and still others might consider insurmountable. The reality comes down to this; how bad do you want something? When you look to the examples of others ask yourself, “How badly did they want their goals?”

do it enough it comes naturally and you don’t need to worry about failing in the clutch. That’s right, you can stop worrying about making a fool of yourself and just concentrate on doing what you know how to do and get lost in the process even under stressful situations.

Students will sometimes ask me about the art that I create, do I like everything I do? It isn’t a question that comes up often because they are afraid of the answer. Truth; Nobody likes everything they do. If they say it, they are lying to themselves and you. I actually need to have a symbolic burn one of these days of the work that is crap. Most of the time I just throw it away when I hate it. The point is this; Maybe you are an artist when your creativity has become an accidental habit.

That is why I paint what I do, because I have come to love the moment. The moment you are in is perfection, right now (well perhaps not every moment). When that moment is perfection; you need to mark it for your heart, your spirit, your soul. That moment might just be the thing that heals something that is hurt or even broken.

My husband keeps having to remind me that we need to keep moving forward and I can’t just stop because of what is going on.  I took a time out last year and I was sorry I did.  I shouldn’t have, I should have kept pushing and gone more places. 

I was speaking with an artist today about how solitary our profession can be and that being social can be an effort. Interacting with people, being a part of the human experience; can recharge our creative batteries. It is something that all people need but as artists, we must not ignore it.

Questions lead us to bigger answers that send us in larger directions and unlock new horizons such as; outer space, fluid dynamics, defying gravity. All of those questions have sent us down rabbit holes where we have redefined our existence and the limits of our world.

The key to being an artist is that you continue to create.  It isn’t about selling something, even your art.  Being an artist isn’t about justifying the artistic identity; it is more about the continuous act of making something; all the time. 

I generally have a loose plan before the ball drops on the new year. I have an idea of what shows I want to do, ones I want to try and ones that I have decided to leave alone by the time September rolls around. I knew that I was going to be setting myself up for the residency in Albany NY this coming fall already and I have a class planned in St George UT this March. I have to, I need to figure out how to pay for them before I get close to them.

Mental health has fallen to the way side in our country, funding sacrificed on the alter of the DOJE. I fail to see why it was necessary to remove the financial support for so many programs but this one; this particular issue is very dear to my soul. Loosing a loved one to mental illness makes you feel confused and powerless. Anyone who has ever dealt with suicide knows that this week between Christmas and New years is one of the most fatal to the mentally ill.

I could spend a bunch of time writing about the hardships and tragedies that are around us. I am pretty sure we are all aware of what is going on. While we sit in our homes with family and friends, let’s try to remember that there are people who are working very hard to make sure that the lights come on. Tow drivers assisting drivers in distress, plow truck drivers cleaning roads, Law enforcement out patrolling the highways, volunteers feeding the homeless; EMTs, nurses, and doctors leaving homes and hot meals to put people back together and get them on their feet.

As time has pulled me along, I have experienced changes physically and well, mentally. When we are young and learning, we face frustrations all the time and our parents or caregivers hopefully teach us coping skills to effectively deal with it. As young adults, we end up fighting through and finding out how much we can accomplish. Then we are led down the rosy path into the quiet but unrelenting reality of age, where we learn the term “limitation” which soon morphs into a gang that beats you up at night while you are sleeping. Eventually, they mug you during the day and you can no longer get a decent night’s sleep. Then you end up with the return of your childhood friend, “Frustration”.

Being a working artist at this time of the year is difficult as well. The final push of the show season and looking at the empty schedule for the next year, wondering what shows you want to apply for now. Do I want to try new markets? Apply for old favorites that didn’t go as well last year? I have a tendency to get frazzled now and do an application frenzy. This last year, I tried a lot of new things. Knowing that the new administration was going to shake things up and make the art market uncertain. Needless to say, I would say that I am currently on the bottom of the heap right now.

Sometimes we can’t get the information we are looking for because we aren’t asking the correct questions, but most of the time; our current lifestyle just doesn’t slow down enough to encourage us to seek out the proper information or even share it. We are so excited to get the information out there, we don’t recognize we need to source it.

It seems that I hit yard sales, Art Salvage, people give me things, and inevitably I purchase new things until I have so much art stuff that I can hardly find everything. Let’s not even discuss the amount of old artwork that I own. I like to give older pieces away and even burn the ones that are so outdated that they no longer represent what I can do. You hit a point that your spouse ends up turning their head away and averting their eyes from the offending area as if recognition will be considered encouragement. My husband and I actually had a “What will you do with this if I die” conversation.