Beautiful Flaws
I was speaking with a good friend recently. We were due as we haven’t spent much time on the phone in over a year. The conversation turned to projects on our back burner and they mentioned that the reason they hadn’t done a particular one was because of their ego. They wanted the project to be perfect and were trying to work it out in their head before they started and I spouted a statement that I had heard somewhere, “We are beautifully flawed.” I went on to say that it is our flaws and imperfections that make us interesting to each other. Perfection can be boring, I told them. This friend responded with, “I have actually written about our flaws being a good thing and had forgotten it until this moment.”
Friends remind us of things like that. I value their insight deeply and I really enjoy talking to this person but the point I made stands. Flaws make us interesting and beautiful. I think one reason is that perfection varies from perspective. Let’s look at Mt St Helen’s; one side you can see the gaping maw of the eruption site, the other is a lovely snow covered peak. If you are a geologist and a vulcanologist, you like the eruption side.
Perfect, pretty art can be fairly boring. People who break the rules of composition, do things to shock you, create bold compositions that grab our attention and fascinate us. They win awards because they aren’t afraid to be imperfect and we notice. People who spend hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to maintain their perfect looks, ruin their bank books and in the end become facebook entertainment while actors with scars end up having amazing careers.
When we let people see our flaws, we are exposing ourselves to judgement and let’s face it; that is frightening. However; what happens when we accept our own flaws ourselves and stand up to be seen? We are noticed and considered courageous, and let’s be honest; it does take courage to be out there.
We need to stop chasing perfection, instead we need to look for those who accept our real selves. There is one person who should see us as perfection or, not needing any change and that would be ourselves. I have been working on a circle of friends who I don’t need to hide my “flaws” from. I ask them when I think I am being less than the best version of myself but that is not the same as lacking perfection. They; in turn, are honest and kind when giving me an assessment. They love me for who I am and never ask me to change, even when they give me their assessment.
Think of it this way, we can never be perfect for everyone all of the time. That is an exercise in futility, like making sure everyone likes us. We will never be anyone’s cup of tea and anyone who is; is manipulating the masses (be aware). Work toward being satisfied with yourself and finding people who like/love you for who you are. If anything, you will have a much richer life that way.