The Fear of Never Being that Good Again.
I am sitting on the couch, staring at the waterfall painting from 2 weeks ago. I posted it on my blog then and it has been on an easel in the living room since then. It is the first big oil painting I have done since college and the only one that large I have ever finished. My mother will tell you about the other large one that has been knocking around for 30 years, undone. She begged me to get it out of her house for years. I can’t finish it, I lost the reference material and now I don’t know what to do with it. This waterfall; it is done and I am fascinated with it. It has made me understand the question, “How can you sell your art?”
Many people ask me if I have a hard time letting go of my work and I have always told them no. I am prolific so it has never been a problem. I have done pieces that I haven’t been in a hurry to sell but I don’t hide them, I just don’t fuss when I get to take them home again. This one is a bit different. It was scary in moments and now I look in awe at it and wonder, can I do it again?
That is the fear, isn’t it? Will I ever be able to do something like it again. Should I just hang on to it in case I can’t? Nope, If I let it go; I have to paint something else to replace it. I must keep painting and storing it just runs the risk of it getting damaged. If it isn’t hung somewhere, you can’t see if pests like bugs or rodents are pestering it. It needs to be hung where it can be enjoyed. I know I painted it, I did it. I have that knowledge in me and I can do something like it again.
An artist has to have faith in themselves and their ability to do something. Some call it arrogance, others refer to it as pride; to me it is trust. Trust in hard work and education from mentors, study and effort. As I write this blog, I know what I am doing is giving myself confidence to frame it, price it and let that painting go and even more importantly; paint something again. I’m going to put this statement of affirmation here. If you have done it once, you can do it again.
Now, go paint.