Old dogs can still learn new tricks.
They talk about an aging brain and how you need to keep learning to maintain its youth; well, I learned something very important this week. It is about friendship and being a good friend. If you have followed the blog for a while, you know I have a wonderful group of friends here and I met with a few of them this last week. We sat down for coffee and one of them was visibly bothered by something when we all settled into our seats. She wanted to focus on us first, to get settled; then she told us about an experience that upset her. We were quiet for a moment and then I leapt into the breach with a question; “What would you like from us Honey? Do you want advice, sympathy, commiseration, or just for us to listen? You tell us how you want us to respond.” While we were quiet, I was thinking about all of the times I had unburdened myself recently and all of the different responses that I had received. Sometimes I didn’t want problem solving but that is what I was given, solutions. Sometimes I was just given an ear without any solutions and sometimes I was given platitudes. When that happened, I would tell my friend what I was actually looking for but not everyone feels comfortable asking for what they want or even think about the choices. Our friend looked at us and actually decided on what she wanted, then told us. She was relieved and the conversation was constructive for her because it helped her with the resolution she didn’t really understand she was looking for.
I think that the statement about old dogs is misleading and limiting because as I have aged, the youthful passion isn’t as influential anymore. The heat of rage can come on still, I know because I recently felt it; but it no longer holds sway over my decision-making process. Frustration no longer backs me into a corner and clouds the possible exits. I can stop and think about solutions, figure out ways to problem solve. Is that age or experience I wonder? I know I can still be petty, as much as I try to find the high road; I understand that I am standing on lower ground when I am looking for it. While I am aging, flexibility might not be as much about my body and more about resilience in problem solving when plans go awry.
I was supposed to leave on a trip today and travel back to St George UT, but things don’t always work out. As disappointed as I am about not being able to return right now, there are alternatives in the area that I haven’t had the time to explore. Maybe I will head west to see the new road up to Steptoe Butte today or north to Dry Falls. The sky just cleared and it promises to be blue for the next 48 hours. My very best friend is off for the next 2 days and we haven’t been on a road trip for a while, today just might be a good day for us to do that.
Here is my note to everyone reading this, Say no to age discrimination and teach your old dog a new trick. There is a chance he (or you) might just be able to hang on for a bit longer.