It is alright to miss out on something, if the moment you are in is perfection.
I am loving my 50’s. I was told when I was young that as we age, we trade youth for perspective and I am finding it to be true. I have put aside so many things that used to be a huge priority to me and left them behind. Hours getting dolled up in the mirror with beauty products, curling irons, sprays, creams, shadows, powders, nylons….. I can get in the shower and be out of the bathroom with makeup and jewelry in under a half an hour. I recently had to rethink my wardrobe because I realized I had stopped collecting things to adorn my body. My cars are paid for and are more for utility than style and if they have style it was because the style came with the price tag and fit the job we needed them to do. My evenings are early because I like having them in with my spouse, not running around drinking.
The main thing I do now is prioritize the perfect moment. I used to rush from appointment to appointment, trying hard not to be late. I never wanted to miss out on anything. It didn’t matter if it was an opportunity, a function, an event, a gathering…. I didn’t want to miss out; of what I never really could quantify. Now I understand that I was missing out on the experience. My mother used to pull me out of what ever was going on and point out road side beauty. We would be driving in some particularly perilous weather, my stepfather would be concentrating on the road ahead, the car alongside and the one behind and she would declare, “Oh Denny! look at the frost on the vegetation! Isn’t beautiful?” He, of course; couldn’t pull his eyes off the snow drifting across the black ice as we drove from one Wyoming highway gate to the next so she would pull me out of my panicked reverie to enjoy the view with her. She was right, it was beautiful with the soft cool greys and undertones of warm earth that subtly colored the dampening mist. Never mind the truck chains buried in the ice we were driving over, or the way the van’s back end would break loose periodically.
She was looking for visual escape from the frightening stress of the moment but the point was valid, the beauty was perfection. Sometimes when I am on my way to a destination and I have made the effort to be there 20 minutes early, I will end up on the phone with a friend. The call is more important to me than getting there those extra few minutes. We spend most of our lives playing catch-up anyway, why cut off that special time with someone who makes your life so much richer? A song comes over your stream that catches you unaware and changes your mood for the better. For those few refrains; you feel at peace in a way you hadn’t in the entire day. It might just be the reset you need to find your way back to solving your problems and getting back on track or just giving you a recharge. Walking across campus and you suddenly see a squirrel playing tag with another around a tree; you might be racing to an appointment but for a moment it is just the joy of those animals scampering. Or one of my new favorites; my grandson taking a rare moment to cuddle on my lap. My coffee is cooling across the room but my heart is warm and full.
John Travolta’s character in Michael said, ”Such a short time here on earth.” shouldn’t we grab each moment that is special and exist in it? Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, this time here will not ever come the same again. That is why I paint what I do, because I have come to love the moment. The moment you are in is perfection, right now (well perhaps not every moment). When that moment is perfection; you need to mark it for your heart, your spirit, your soul. That moment might just be the thing that heals something that is hurt or even broken. That moment reminds me that there is always balance in the universe. I will always know that wherever there is ugly, somewhere there is beauty. Wherever there is hate, somewhere there is love. Wherever there is darkness, somewhere there is light.
The next time you are sitting in a traffic jam stressing about how you are going to be late; remind yourself that this is beyond your control and take that moment to find a bit of beauty. Listen to a song, call a friend or family member, look around for something pretty. Despite it all, the Universe loves balance and if you look for it, you will find it.