The space between Christmas and New Years can be a tripping hazard for many.
When we were young; most of us, looked forward to the holiday season with excitement and wonder. As we have become older, the wonder and joy is lost in the stress of; paying for meals, gifts, travel, or family drama, or just the thought of being alone. As a Christian based society here in the states, we all seem to stop our routines for this time of the year. Many are left behind because they either don’t follow those traditions or are displaced and have lost family. For many, this time of the year brings a challenge to survive from one sunset to the next sunset.
My closest friends know I have a history of loss. I have a few of my father’s family left and my mother but beyond them, my immediate family is now my husband and the family my son is building with his wonderful wife. Christmas this year was in my mother’s living room with the newest generation crawling around with wonder at the paper her big brother kept putting on her head. So much possibility resting on those two young children; hope and dreams. While I looked on at my Daughter in law on the floor holding the baby and guiding her son, I couldn’t help but think of my friend who lost her son a scant few months earlier.
Mental health has fallen to the way side in our country, funding sacrificed on the alter of the DOJE. I fail to see why it was necessary to remove the financial support for so many programs but this one; this particular issue is very dear to my soul. Loosing a loved one to mental illness makes you feel confused and powerless. Anyone who has ever dealt with suicide knows that this week between Christmas and New years is one of the most fatal to the mentally ill. Suicide isn’t as simple as “snapping out of it.” You can’t “buck up” or “get over it”. There are effective drug therapies but while they work for a time, the side effects can be as bad or worse to live with. Nausea, dizziness, emotional withdrawal, loss of appetite for food, sex or human contact, weight gain, sleepiness, dry mouth, blurred vision, anxiety, tremors…. all with your family telling you to “Just Take the Damn Drugs!!” because they are frightened to lose you. You fear that the “you” on the drugs isn’t real and when you begin to feel like a person; you test quitting the drugs. Only to find yourself in a much worse situation than before (personal experience here, no it isn’t fun). You retreat from everyone because you don’t want to be a downer or a burden to others, not understanding that being around people might actually help.
This time of year can be one of the most deadliest times for those suffering from mental health and now, insurance costs are skyrocketing for Millions of people. It is difficult enough to find a counselor you feel comfortable with when you have insurance, how about when you don’t? So I am going to ask of everyone; Look to your neighbors, check on your friends. Those who refuse to join the revelry of the New Year celebrations, at least you can say you tried. At least they know you cared, someone thought enough of them to make the effort. Your knock might just buy them the time to find a solution. Let’s put drama and politics aside for one more week and put out a hand to lift someone up. For everyone I have lost, there was a mother who mourned, a community in shock and a child who stood confused asking questions they were too young to face. For those who are wondering;
Yes you are enough.
You are important.
The world is a better place with you in it, even as you are now.
There is a better tomorrow, I have stood in your shoes and I have seen the dawn. It did get better and I live.
988 national suicide hotline, text or call.
The Trevor Project: (866) 488-7386 for LGTB teens
Trans Lifeline: (877) 565-8860