Starting again isn’t really the same as going back to the beginning.

I read something recently that really resonated with me. “When you start over, you aren’t starting from the same place as the last time. You have the benefit of the experience you earned from the last time you tried.” I sat down and took a few minutes to chase that down the mental rabbit hole and it went rather like this: Marty from Back to the Future, went back in time and changed his future but; the reality he returned to was different. Every time someone goes back in time, the same task changes as does the outcome. Even if the task stayed the same, the person doing isn’t. It follows along the statement, “youth is wasted on the young” because if you knew then what you know now, you would do things differently.

That last sentence is the closing of a circle; you shouldn’t be the same person starting over because you “should” learn from what you did the first time. Every time you do something, especially if it is difficult; your thought process and problem solving patterns are affected. If you payed attention, you look for new ways to try accomplishing the task. You might get faster, more efficient and effective. You might have discovered new tools or materials or found new resources but what ever you have done in the past, your process will not be exactly the same.

Sometimes we will start over many times to accomplish something. Looking back, you know you tried something different each time. You might not be getting what you want but you will be gaining expertise which will be invaluable later on in life. I really just want to point out; starting over isn’t really at the very beginning again. Whether it is doing a piece of art, a new relationship, a reconciliation, sobriety, physical wellbeing, mental health; well you get it, Right? Ultimately, if you embrace your mistakes and accept your past; you can move forward and have a greater chance of success each time. Your odds get better each new restart, and you should take pride in the fact that you earned that knowledge. Let’s not beat ourselves up over how we gained it, shed the guilt by accepting our past and embrace what we now know. Here’s another idea, share it with others! Maybe help them so they don’t need one of the restarts you had to take.

Being human is complicated and magical, partly because of our mistakes and partly because of how we progress. Mark Roger Bailey once wrote, “You are truth. You ask because you are evolving toward perfection, growing, discovering, You are becoming truth.” It was one of my favorite quotes by a character in his book Saint. I take comfort from this simply because it reminds me we aren’t meant to be perfect, we are working towards it. Celebrate the fact that you are human and flawed and give yourself some grace. If you really want something that much, keep trying and don’t give up. You will never start again from the same starting point again, no matter how much it feels like it.