It is okay to complain, Just be careful how you do it.

You are in a restaurant and you order a steak medium; it comes rare. We have been taught it is alright to ask the waitstaff to make adjustments and fix the problem but when it comes to everyday; what are we supposed to do? We can speak up then too, it is alright just do it with respect if you want to get the best result.

Sometimes our partners ask us to do things that are uncomfortable and outside of our purview, or we have a boss who asks us to do something that in retrospect might not be the best idea. You can look at them and mention or out right state that it is not a great idea or even the best use of your labor to do that particular job. I was working the other day alone and my to do list asked that I do something precarious. I called up my boss and calmly explained why I considered it a risky proposition. I actually called and said, “No. I’m not going to do this today and this is why.” Her response was reasonable, “I hadn’t considered that.” My manager and I tackled the task together when I came in the following week.

Being able to tell someone that the help they are giving you isn’t really helpful is also allowed. They might think that they are making it easier for you to accomplish something but in fact don’t realize that they are making more work for you down the road. You have the right to look at them and say, “Please stop. I have this; thank you.” Especially if their help is going to damage something you have put time and money into. You don’t owe anyone an explanation either. I do understand that hurt feelings can be a stumbling block but sometimes we can’t own how someone reacts to you setting reasonable boundaries. Now, Adding “Thank You”, tells them that you appreciate what they were trying to do. Explaining to my employer that the task she gave me might end up costing the business more money that we might make was a good way to tell her no. I don’t think I was pushy but I hope I was clear and polite. I was scared that I was putting too much at risk.

The most important thing to acknowledge is that person deserves a respectful attempt at communication before you get too pushy and angry. Make your point but be kind and polite at least at first. The goal here is to make sure you have your needs met and also preserve a good relationship moving forward. Weigh the consequences and decide in the moment which is the priority and that will tell you how to go forward. Marriage, business, friendship and everything else; it is alright to prioritize your own self but always consider that you can do it in a good way first. You can be nasty later if you need to. Good luck.