Choosing words by intention instead of intent
I’m probably opening up a can of worms here but I want to go down the garden path anyway. We tend to open our mouth and speak what is on our mind without considering how we want to be heard. You can talk to someone, you can talk at someone or you can actually work to choose phrases that paint a complete picture for the person or people in front of you. When you are in any type of conversation with anyone, you are working to communicate an idea, need, or understanding. If you just start talking without considering where they are coming from, or what their motivation might be; you might as well be throwing darts at pegboard and hoping something will stick.
We have become comfortable with quick phrases such as Bruh, Dude, lack of punctuation and news headlines that grab your attention however, make no sense. When I thank someone for a small act of kindness, the response might be “of course.” I have news for you, there is no expectation of manners and that small act of kindness is more special than expected. Another thing that is becoming common is we are in 2026 and it is a proven recorded fact that our school scores are falling not getting any better and the fact that we no longer have real news print is just making our society less accountable. We no longer hold books, we plug in our phones and let them get read to us as we travel long distances. Without the effort to read the spoken word, we are loosing our grasp on the spoken language and why writing and public speaking is becoming a lost art.
We argue, we no longer persuade each other. Our voices raise against and over each other, neither one listening only gaining in volume until ironically; no one is being heard at all. I spoke to a stranger today about some subjects and while we talked, I listened. From what I could hear him tell me; I knew he wouldn’t be receptive to the points I wanted to raise. I tempered my opinion and didn’t try to change his mind. My intention was to get to know him and where he stood and my intent to influence him changed as we spoke. Sometimes you just need to listen so you know that the sound you are hearing is your voice bouncing off of a brick wall. We came across each other later and were able to start up a conversation again, not about anything of great import; but at least we were comfortable with each other.
Sometimes we need to understand that the intended goal might not be achievable in one conversation. When we listen, we can start to have a conversation of intention to build a bridge of communication for the future. Not everything has to happen right now. When you are talking to someone; or listening, consider what is the intended goal? To help, sway someone to your way of thinking, to learn, or even; to get them to change the subject to something else. Picking your responses or even the questions you ask can help you figure out how to get you where you and the person you are talking with to the intended destination. In the interim, when someone does a small kind act; I will always respond to “of course” with there is nothing “of course” about it. I will always be grateful and make sure that their act is special to me.